This is Me...

No, I'm not going to break into song, although that is a great song.  I've heard a lot lately about how we post our best selves on social media.  So, I decided to just go with the reality of me.

• I am a MESS...
• It's just the easiest way to say it.
• I have control issues, but have way too many things in my life that I have no control over.
• My body likes to attack itself from inside and there really isn't much I can do about - endometreosis, allergies, etc.
• I chose to work in a field that depends on other people's making choices to change - again no control.
• I deal with depression and anxiety; I'm dependent on medication, have had to avoid people to try to deal with it, couldn't get out of bed, and have had therapy to work through it.
• I LOVE/HATE...
• Nature - see the allergies.  I love the idea of being outside; unfortunately, it doesn't get to happen much because of said allergies.
• Shoulds - that long list of everything that I feel like I should be accomplishing but don't really want to or am too lazy to make it habitual.
• The whole adulting thing.  Seriously, why were we in such a hurry to grow up.
• Nighttime - some days sleep comes super easily and sometimes not so much.  then I get so frustrated because I don't know how to fix that - fortunately that doesn't happen super often.
• I LOVE...
• My family.  I could not imagine my life without them.  They are such an influence and so supportive.
• Kids - I have 12 nieces and nephews that make me smile all the time.  We get to play together and laugh and they make life so much better.
• The Big Bang Theory - it's our go to when we need something to laugh at and make our day better.
• The movie Hop - same reason as The Big Bang Theory.
• Babies'/toddlers' laugh.  Seriously the best sound in the world.
• Smell and sound of rain.  I find water to be very comforting.
• Smell of laundry in the dryer - it's wonderful.
• Chocolate - just about anything.  The only things I've really found that I don't think should have been chocolate is PopTarts - those just didn't turn out well to me.
• Fresh journal - something about it is just wonderful - especially if you have new pens to go with it.
• Cooking/baking - it's actually very relaxing to me.
• Hanging out in my jammies - one of the best things in the world to me.
• I CAN'T STAND...
• Sense of entitlement - work for things and earn them - the world owes you nothing.
• Lack of follow through - especially when I fall into this category.  Not being able to rely on someone is very scary to me.  Not being able to be trusted bothers me and I try really hard not to fall into that.
• No respect for others - we all have our own opinions and are entitled to them.  I know I can be extremely opinionated and I know all of my opinions are not based completely on facts/research.  I try to be open to listening to other peoples' opinions and respect them, whether or not I agree with them.  World would be a better place if everyone could do that.  There's way to much of "if you don't agree with me, you're wrong."
• Being late.  To me, this is a lack of respect as well.  
• I WISH...
• So many things...
• I could travel endlessly.  Top wish list destinations:  more than a day in Jerusalem; Australia; Nile River/Valley of Kings in Egypt; back to Berlin; generally do a world tour would be amazing.
• I knew where I want to go from here - sometimes I still feel lost in the whole what's next in my life stuff.
• I LIKE...
• The idea of organization - when I take the time to clean and clean out and declutter there is an amazing sense of accomplishment.
• Having a new planner and getting that bit of organization in there.
• Having healthy habits - journal writing, scripture study, prayers, and things like that.

So basically, I'm a work in progress, which I like to think is most people.  The best thing is that throughout any of this, I'm grateful to know that I am a child of God and that right there gives me sense of purpose and such comfort through things.  So, this is me - who are you?