But What Do I Know

There are two things I see that really bother me.  Unfortunately, I see both of them quite a bit in my job, but also in the world in general.  Occasionally, yes, I am guilty of both, but hope it's the exception not the rule.  I don't think this is just within the confines of social work, but in the world in general, and I think they both need to change!

First, a general lack of responsibility.  I am so tired of hearing how things are someone else's fault.  I can think of very few examples of when this might completely be the case.  Maybe I'm not thinking hard enough.  Little Timmy is taught at a very young age that just because Johnny took his truck, this does not mean that Johnny made him hit him.  Timmy still chose to hit Johnny.  __________ did not make you do anything - you made that decision and now you need to acknowledge that.  I'm not sure if somewhere along the way we forget that lesson, or are just hoping that it's not true.  However, it is true.  We are not the exceptions - I don't know who is. 

We are taught that we get to make our own choices.  Each one of us chooses if a situation makes us happy, sad, angry, etc.  What each one of us does not get to choose is what the consequences may be.  I drive to fast in the snow and hit an ice patch, I will be held responsible for any damage that I may cause.  I chose to not be safe.  (No, this hasn't happened to me recently, but I think it's a very simplistic example to illustrate the point.)  I've never been drunk or under the influence of any non-prescribed drugs.  I do know that after surgery I am not the most intelligent, but can be quite entertaining - or so I've been told.  From what I know, I do believe that you are not completely in control of what you may do, true.  However, you have made the decision to drink or whatever the case may be and now must face the consequences of whatever has happened during that time.  If you're lucky, all that is will be a hangover.

Second, and maybe this sounds harsh, but the world does not owe you anything!  I am constantly amazed at the sense of entitlement I see and hear about.  A child has to earn his allowance.  I know growing up, if my chores were not done Friday afternoon, I did not get to go out Friday night.  No exceptions.  I may not have always appreciated that as a kid, but looking back now what a great lesson I was taught (now if only I would keep up with my chores in the same way).  If you didn't finish high school, haven't earned your GED, you aren't going to get your first job as upper management - heck, even with a degree, that's not going to be your first job.  There is nothing in the world that says you must have a car, an Ipod/Ipad, the latest in fashion.  I do take promises seriously (I currently owe a couple of the kids on my caseload gummies and Kit Kats because of a promise made).  I agree when you do your job, your boss owes you your paycheck. 

None of us are guaranteed anything in life.  You can work hard and still not be able to get everything you want.  If you are fortunate though, you will be able to get everything you need, which is so much more important.  Hopefully, that's a lesson that is being taught and reinforced.  Or maybe, I'm just alone in my thinking.